måndag 3 april 2000

Low and lonely

 Monday

0125 I'm low. I'm down. I'm crying at the discoteque. My heart is empty. I have no idea what to do about this feeling. So lonely, I feel enormously lonely. Today the world is ugly. Having trouble to breath. My head is exploding. It is so hard, and I don't know if I can make it anymore. The wood is getting dark and I have lost my path. Hold me, destroy me. My flesh is strong but my mind is weak.
1500 It's not as bad now, but I'm still low. The sun is shining outside but as soon as I go outside, my eyes start running. I did some of the washing up, so the kitchen sink doesn't stink anymore. Now I know why I feel bad when I eat that frozen cake. It's got cream in it. That's almost as bad as ice-cream. There are workers in the building, putting in cable for the internet. My expenses this month are the phonebill and another bus-card. That's it, but I got this creepy feeling I forgot something. :( Puh and Johanna might come down for the easter, which would surely cheer me up.

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