tisdag 20 januari 2004

I like power

mood: contemplative
music: Rocky Horror Picture Show - I'm Going Home

People tell me that I like power. How do they know this? I do know that I despise being powerless. This does not mean that I need control, I see myself as a impulsive person who likes to try new things and leaving things to fate. Having recognised that truly nothing ever turns out as you expected and that to plan things to much will only instill anger and frustration.
Since I have a self-image of myself as incapable of seeing things through I overcompensate and do a LOT of different things. And every time somethings reaches conclusion and I am truly DONE with it I feel this inner joy, like I just proved something to myself and to the world.
Inside, there is this NEED to make my mark upon the world, and if not the world, then at least the neighbourhood.


Getting a degree in Library and Information Science
Building a small village with one of my LARP-groups
Playing a Toreador bon vivant in another LARP
Learning to be a better cook.
a vice chairman in one of the LARP-groups
in love with my boyfriend (hey, this is a big step for me)

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